My age, and the age we live in, makes this a crucial moment to pursue the life-changing experience I proposed for my Creative Renewal, which will help me fulfill an objective formed in my youth. As an impressionable midwestern adolescent in the 1960’s, I’d come home from playing in the woods all day to a dinner table where my father insisted on silence while watching the evening news. I was exposed nightly to the televised violence taking place on the streets of America and battlegrounds in Vietnam. But my mother provided the counterpoint, guiding me to learn from what I witnessed. This shaped my values and world view. Art is the vehicle I’ve always used to speak out against the same mid-century issues that continue to plague our world today: racism, sexism, unequal rights, economic disparity, corporate power in government, war for profit, genocide, diaspora, the dissolving separation of church and state, and ecological destruction.
During my fellowship I will travel by train to tread tenderly into remote places for deep meditation. This has not been possible for me since 1992, when I visited New Mexico. Devoid of lush Midwestern greenery, I was immersed in a startling pastel landscape where I first experienced a state of “no-mind” in a hushed alcove of wind-carved sandstone. It changed the way I perceive color. It changed the beat of my heart. It gave me the courage to finally proclaim, “I am an artist!” I ache to hear only the sounds of nature again, to sort my thoughts without interruption, connect with my deepest convictions, and reclaim my ability to reach a deep meditative state. That is where I know I’ll find the strength and vision for the work I must bring to life.
This fellowship will also fund my transition to a medium that accommodates the diminishing strength of my hands caused by the onset of arthritis. My recent discovery of paper clay as an alternative medium rekindled my interest in resuming studies in precious metal clay [PMC]. Workshops mastering these pleasurably warm and dry, soft-bodied clays will enable me to continue to make exquisitely handcrafted work. I’ll be unfettered from the debilitating pain of needle-crafting so that I can make art for the rest of my days. I’m deeply grateful to be able to pursue what I believe to be the most important project of my life, as an artist and fellow inhabitant of this fragile globe.